singularjustice | ♔ [Text]

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[ If anyone is looking for N, he will not be easy to find. His Pokemon seem to be missing too, though his name still registers on the SFC. However, he does not seem to be answering messages, though one is free to leave one and try their luck.

He does, however, send out short messages to anyone he has made plans to meet with this week, leaving them a short message that simply says: I need to cancel this week. Sorry. ]

[Private Text to Red]
I'm sorry I upset you.

But I can't be sorry for fighting Silver. I'll leave him alone now. He's got his choices, and I said what I wanted to say.

But I couldn't just let him go like that. Let him take Feraligatr back and think he had won, that everything was going to be okay the way it was. Maybe it's not important to anyone else, what a trainer does to his Pokemon. Maybe to everyone else the rights of a human is more important. But not to me.

Green's right. I don't deserve you. I'm not like other people and I'm never going to be. This just proves it.

[ The message ends there, and then, a few minutes later: ]

Go to the Clinic if you're still feeling bad. And get some sleep.

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[Red smiles at Purrloin to greet her back, then follows her carefully in.

... It's dark in here. He decides to slide his SFC out and use it as a flashlight. He keeps following Purrloin slowly.]

[ N is curled up with his Pokemon around him near the back. At least he has a light on back there, though he is still sitting on the floor.

When he hears Red's footsteps, he looks up, eyes still red from all the crying he has been doing. ]

[Red pockets his SFC once he's detected a lighted area. He hurries to that spot, when he's greeted by this sad sight...

It's almost a huge relief... He finally saw him again.

It's only been a day, but he's been immensely worried about N. Red doesn't waste time to his beloved's side, moving to sit on his knees, and then tightly embracing N within his arms.]

[ Now that Red is here... N cannot pull away from that comfort. He cannot deprive himself -- or Red -- any longer. He wraps his arms around Red tightly and clings to him, hiding his face against the other boy's shoulder without a word. ]

You're all right now, N...

[Red faintly lowers his head to press a kiss against the boy's forehead, never letting go of him as he did. In fact, his embrace may have become tighter, more secure.

He won't let him slip away from him anymore. He'll make sure to keep his word to comfort and protect N. For real this time.]

[ N tries his best not to sniffle again. He has cried so much today... ]

I still feel so weak. I can't stop it.

Don't... [Red gently cups one of N's cheeks, lifting his head up a little to make N face him.] Let it all out.

[It's all right to cry, if they wish to let the pain leave them... They should let it all out, instead of swallowing the pain. He's here to catch all those tears and wipe them away.]

But I don't -- I don't want to feel weak, I don't want to feel stupid any more, I don't want to be trouble, I want to stop it --

[ The tears come of their own volition, and he can do nothing to fight them. ]

That's why you should let these feelings go. Pour them and slowly forget them. When we leave together, you will take your new steps.

I'll be with you, no matter what. I'm sure... You'll find the true answers someday. I'll do my best, too.

"Do your best?"

[ Sniffle. ]

You always talk like that. Like you aren't anything special.

[ His tone is not really angry, but just kind of -- sad. ]

N...

[It's... hard for Red to talk another way. He's caused too many people to suffer, even now. But it's people like N, who reminds him like this... It does make him feel special.

However, that isn't what's more important right now. Right now, Red really wants to ease N's heart. So, gently and slowly, he moves in and gives the boy another embrace.]

[ N clings to him, but he is not done talking. ]

You don't get it, but you are. Don't you see? You're so smart and kind and patient. Your Pokemon love you. You act like an adult, like a Champion should really be.

[ To N, Red is everything N wants to be and is not sure he ever will. ]

[. . .]

[Red really didn't want to talk about himself right now. But... these words, they're very difficult to just accept. He needs to be honest... especially to N.]

... Thank you. But the truth is that I'm actually a selfish person. I always wish for selfish things and do selfish things. And, in the end, I would end up hurting someone worse than actually physically hurting them... Even if I didn't mean it, they still happen.

I have a long way to go, too... I have yet to fully grow up. But I really am doing my best. However, I... also do truly appreciate your words, N. So, thank you. Thank you for believing in me.

You're too hard on yourself.

[ As if N wasn't. But N saw his own flaws more acutely than perhaps anyone else. ]

You are, too...

[There's a sad smile. But there's a bit of a tease somewhere there, too. He pulls back gently, then moves his one hand to start fixing N's messy hair.]

[ N does not respond, but he leans into Red's hand, quietly letting him fix his hair. He finds comfort in the gesture, and it is perhaps a sign that he is calming down, becoming more willing to let Red help him through this. ]

[That smile turns changes into a warmer one, lowering himself to N's face level as his knees bent. Red cups both of N's cheeks this time, moving his thumbs slowly to wipe those tears away, one by one...

It will be okay, is what's spelled across Red's eyes.]

[ N looks up at him quietly, saying no words. He just soaks up the physical contact, needing that stability. ]

[And it was just silence for a while... Just like this, Red stays right beside N, supplying him warmth and comfort until he fully calms down.]

Red...

[ His voice is soft and small. ]

...I'm tired.

[ He hasn't slept since the fight, and, in fact, has barely rested since his argument with Naoya. His body is still bruised from Silver's hits and kicks, and he aches all over. Not to mention what a headache crying like this has given him. ]

[It seems that N has calmed enough... He's ready to come home, then.]

... Let's go home, N.

[Red stands up first, a slow movement without letting go of N's hands. He softly tugs N up, offering assistance for when N stands as well.]

[ N does not protest, standing, though his shoulders slump with weariness. The Pokemon get up as well, recognizing their trainer is finally ready to leave. ]

[With the limited source of light, Red couldn't really see N's bruises. But to see his weariness now... it gave him the idea that N didn't even treat himself before running away. This could be bad.]

Hold on, all right...?

[Red decides to carry N in his arms once again. It's a familiar feeling... He's carried him before, after all... When N was also tired. He's definitely sick, but he didn't lie about what he said before. For N, he will know no pain and will be strong. A comforting smile follows after.]

Red -- !

[ At being picked up, N struggles to get put back down, despite the fact it only irritates the bruising farther. ]

No, no, you're sick -- I can walk!

I'm all right. You're in a worse condition than me. Don't move, or you'll hurt yourself more.

[Not to mention make it harder for him, too.]

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