singularjustice | ♔ [Text]

[ If anyone is looking for N, he will not be easy to find. His Pokemon seem to be missing too, though his name still registers on the SFC. However, he does not seem to be answering messages, though one is free to leave one and try their luck.

He does, however, send out short messages to anyone he has made plans to meet with this week, leaving them a short message that simply says: I need to cancel this week. Sorry. ]

[Private Text to Red]
I'm sorry I upset you.

But I can't be sorry for fighting Silver. I'll leave him alone now. He's got his choices, and I said what I wanted to say.

But I couldn't just let him go like that. Let him take Feraligatr back and think he had won, that everything was going to be okay the way it was. Maybe it's not important to anyone else, what a trainer does to his Pokemon. Maybe to everyone else the rights of a human is more important. But not to me.

Green's right. I don't deserve you. I'm not like other people and I'm never going to be. This just proves it.

[ The message ends there, and then, a few minutes later: ]

Go to the Clinic if you're still feeling bad. And get some sleep.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...no. I don't, but...

Hurting someone through negligence may not be as bad as hurting them purposefully, but one should still feel responsible for it.

Yes. You should take responsibility for it.

But not to the point that it cripples you like this, N-kun.

What did Naoya-san tell you? That you...feel like this. ...What happened?

[ ... ]

He...

[ He does not want to talk about this. It is like cheating, telling Minato. But he has already lost, hasn't he? Talking to Minato like this...

His head drops against his knees. He feels so small, so weak. ]

How like a child I am. How little I know. He's right. There is so much I should know, things any human should know...

[ His voice starts to break, and he is silent for a moment as he gets himself back together. ]

But I don't act human, do I? I...not that I -- I wouldn't give up my connection to Pokemon for anything.

But I'm not a Pokemon, and I'm not a person, either.

[ Minato cannot see it, but he clinches his fists together. ]

He told me how I was weak. How I...I hide behind my Pokemon. Behind my friends. I don't fight myself. And he's right. Because I wouldn't use my sword against him, I used my Pokemon...they didn't deserve that. It was my fight.

All this practicing and when it came to using my sword I didn't. I put my friends in front of me instead. I used them.

[....]

...You're not a Pokemon or a person?

No, you might be right. You aren't just any Pokemon...or any person either.

But you are N. And if that isn't enough, then you can make it enough. You have all the potential you need.

But if you know something is wrong, then it can be fixed.

I'm trying to fix it!

[ The problem is, he has no idea how. All he knows is that he needs to, and now he thinks he needs to do it alone. Yet all he seems capable of is sitting here and getting more upset. ]

[There's silence on his end for a moment.

Just silence. And when he speaks, his tone is very quiet.]

How are you fixing it?

I...

[ N hates nothing more than how very stupid he feels right now. He makes an unhappy sound, somewhere between a whine and a growl. ]

I don't know. I'll figure something out.

...I know you will.

And N..I don't have a solution either.

But I know that trying to solve it alone won't make it easier.

But letting you or Red solve it for me won't help.

[...]

I don't want to solve it for you. I have faith that you can solve it yourself.

...I just don't want you to shut us out.

...I...I won't. I'll come back. Once I figure this out.

...Alright. I trust you.

Take care of yourself, then. We'll be here when you're ready to come back.

...I will.

...thank you, Minato.

[ And with that, he shuts down the feed. ]

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