♔ Eyes brimming with dark flame...

[singularjustice]

Characters: N and Minato
Status: Closed.


It had been two days since N had been home, and no one seemed quite sure where he was. His name was still on the SFC, and he had been spotted once or twice, but he missed any appointments he had made and did not contact any of his friends or housemates.

If one paid close attention, however, in the early morning hours, they might catch sight of Purrloin darting down the street, a stolen bagel in her mouth. She heads out of the plaza and far beyond the city limits, slipping into the forest.

In one of the forest clearings, there sits the missing boy, surrounded by his team and seemingly content. He reaches out and takes the bagel from Purrloin's mouth, giving her a fond stroke before he takes a bite.

Comments

[2/2]

[messianic]

[And then, expression still giving nothing away--]

You're wrong about one thing, N.

[singularjustice.livejournal.com]

[ N's voice is quiet, without strength. ]

What is that?

[messianic]

[And he smiles at the other, expression gentle and encouraging.]

I don't recall anyone saying you couldn't be a hero.

[singularjustice.livejournal.com]

[ That makes N look up. He does not get it, does not understand whatever leap in logic Minato made. After a moment, he shakes his head. ]

I'm not one. I don't deserve to be one.

[ He swallowed thickly. ]

I don't even know why Reshiram woke up for me.

[messianic]

[His expression is just as quiet as before, tone solemn but unconcerned.]

...I wouldn't presume to say if someone is or is not a hero.

But you have the potential to be whatever you want to be.

And I wouldn't doubt Reshiram's decision. Do you?

[singularjustice.livejournal.com]

[ A moment of silence, and then: ]

...yes. I do.

[messianic]

[He tilts his head, considering.

And after a slight pause of his own, he responds.]

I don't know what makes up a hero. But I do know that learning to think for yourself is a pretty heroic thing to do, particularly when it goes against everything you've been taught.

[singularjustice.livejournal.com]

...I didn't have a choice.

I couldn't keep doing what I had been doing. I was proven wrong.

[messianic]

...N, you don't understand.

You always have a choice.

And you made a choice. ...and your choice was to change.

[singularjustice.livejournal.com]

But I made the choice before that to fight against people. What does that mean?

[messianic]

[He tilts his head, honestly looking confused.]

It means you made that choice. And you've taken the consequences for it. I'm not sure I understand--

Why is that choice more important than the one you've recently made?

[singularjustice.livejournal.com]

Because I hurt people with that choice. I hurt Pokemon, too. And if it wasn't for Hilda, I wouldn't have stopped.

[messianic]

Yes. You did.

It was a poor choice, possibly.

But it no longer is your choice. You made a new one. Sometimes...dwelling on the past harms more than it helps.

Learn from the choices you've made--but you can always know that tomorrow there will be new opportunities.

[singularjustice.livejournal.com]

But, the damage I did...

[ N chews on his lip. ]

How do you deal with that? I know if someone had done things like that to me, an apology-- I don't think that would be enough.

[ And N had not even apologized. He had just run away. At the time, it has seemed the only option. ]

[messianic]

...Because what good would it do to hold a grudge against someone who wanted to change? I would only be holding back myself and them as well.

...sometimes it's worth it, to give them that second chance.

[singularjustice.livejournal.com]

Sometimes...

[ N lets his head drop. ]

Am I never going to be able to make up for what I did? Never be able to make it better?

[ Was forgiveness the only choice? Forgiving and forgetting? ]

[messianic]

[He pauses, clearly confused.]

I don't know.

[...]

That's not my decision to make. Why don't you tell me, N?

Can you?

[singularjustice.livejournal.com]

...I don't know.

[ He rubbed his arm awkwardly. ]

I want to. But I don't know how.

[messianic]

That isn't as difficult as you think it is.

...You've already taken the first step onto the right path by deciding that you want to.

Now you just have to follow through.

[singularjustice.livejournal.com]

...but that's the problem! How do I follow through?

[messianic]

[A long pause--and then he looks at N, shrugging simply.]

...You tell me, N-kun. How will you follow through?

[singularjustice.livejournal.com]

[ N just falls silent, looking defeated. ]

Nevermind.

[messianic]

[...]

Giving up means you aren't moving forward anymore. Nor are you moving back.

You're simply in the same spot.

You're smart. Surely you have some ideas of what you want to do? Not just for this--for anything and everything. Starting tomorrow--what do you want to do?

[singularjustice.livejournal.com]

...I really don't know.

[ He feels so lost, all the time. It is why he throws himself into so many new things with abandon. ]

[messianic]

[...a smile.]

Then take your time. You don't have to change things tomorrow.

Just keep living life according to your own choices.